Tomorrow is Mother’s Day: never a particularly pleasant day for us motherless daughters, our usual dead-mom defenses beaten to a rosy pulp by three to four weeks of relentless Mother’s Day marketing from all sides.
Emily, I’m relieved to read your post about mother-less children dealing with the Hallmark holiday frenzy. This week marked the 50th anniversary of my Mother’s passing. I waked her on Mother’s Day to up the stakes. Even though I am a mother myself, and grateful beyond measure, I still want to hide on the holiday. I feel your pain and anger, that’s a word I rarely use. But the ads and social media BS trigger a hot spot deep inside. I’m good at hiding it. But I feel safe telling you after reading your newsletter. 💗
Thanks for this thoughtful reply, Rosemary. There is some anger there, and I don't often let it out! There always seems so much pressure to do things perfectly - for your mother on the day while she's living, and then in terms of grieving that day when she's gone. It wears me out! Appreciate you commiserating, and glad to hear this newsletter may have helped even a fractional amount.
Your reflections are so appreciated, Emily, esp your candor. The Modern Love piece is excellent. Congratulations on all the fun and very well-deserved good news, and thanks for letting us in on the parts that don't make for such a tidy story. ❤️
Thanks Mindy, appreciate you reading this and the Modern Love piece! Both were an exercise in honesty in public, haha. I'm surprised to find I don't mind it.
Appreciate the peek behind the curtain at the process of writing your Modern Love piece. I enjoyed reading it because I'd just finished your book, and it was interesting to see where you drew your inspiration from for the insulin rationing. The specificity of that medical cost problem was powerful, so much so that when I saw one of those "we buy diabetic strips" signs the other day off a highway exit, I thought of your book.
Thanks Sarah! Yes, those signs were part of the inspiration! Unfortunately diabetes care is one of those things that makes it clear that our healthcare system isn't working unless you have the money for it, and I really wanted to highlight that in the book. It's already such a stressful disease, and we seem to have found a way to make it even harder to deal with! I really appreciate you reading the book and the Modern Love piece - it's nice to hear they're working well together, haha. And that you enjoyed both!
Thanks Vix, appreciate you reading it! I owe a lot to the Modern Love editor, Daniel Jones, who worked hard to cut it down to the right word count. I was too close to the story to figure out what was essential and what wasn't, at the end. I was worried it wouldn't work that short, might feel choppy, but we got there in the end!
Really appreciated this post on so many levels. I lost my mom seven years ago, too, and Mother's Day marketing feels like the emotional equivalent of blunt force trauma that I somehow always fail to adequately steel myself against. On a different note, you might appreciate hearing that there are currently 102 holds for your book at my local library, which serves a community of about 45,000! Your book is definitely drawing readers out in the world!
Thanks for this Jules! You'd think seven years would be enough to soften the marketing blows but somehow it isn't. Sorry you're going through it too. But thank you for the nice numbers at your local library - just still feels miraculous that people I don't know are reading the book, haha. And so many!
Emily, I’m relieved to read your post about mother-less children dealing with the Hallmark holiday frenzy. This week marked the 50th anniversary of my Mother’s passing. I waked her on Mother’s Day to up the stakes. Even though I am a mother myself, and grateful beyond measure, I still want to hide on the holiday. I feel your pain and anger, that’s a word I rarely use. But the ads and social media BS trigger a hot spot deep inside. I’m good at hiding it. But I feel safe telling you after reading your newsletter. 💗
Thanks for this thoughtful reply, Rosemary. There is some anger there, and I don't often let it out! There always seems so much pressure to do things perfectly - for your mother on the day while she's living, and then in terms of grieving that day when she's gone. It wears me out! Appreciate you commiserating, and glad to hear this newsletter may have helped even a fractional amount.
We got through it and today is a new day! 🎉
Your reflections are so appreciated, Emily, esp your candor. The Modern Love piece is excellent. Congratulations on all the fun and very well-deserved good news, and thanks for letting us in on the parts that don't make for such a tidy story. ❤️
Thanks Mindy, appreciate you reading this and the Modern Love piece! Both were an exercise in honesty in public, haha. I'm surprised to find I don't mind it.
Appreciate the peek behind the curtain at the process of writing your Modern Love piece. I enjoyed reading it because I'd just finished your book, and it was interesting to see where you drew your inspiration from for the insulin rationing. The specificity of that medical cost problem was powerful, so much so that when I saw one of those "we buy diabetic strips" signs the other day off a highway exit, I thought of your book.
Thanks Sarah! Yes, those signs were part of the inspiration! Unfortunately diabetes care is one of those things that makes it clear that our healthcare system isn't working unless you have the money for it, and I really wanted to highlight that in the book. It's already such a stressful disease, and we seem to have found a way to make it even harder to deal with! I really appreciate you reading the book and the Modern Love piece - it's nice to hear they're working well together, haha. And that you enjoyed both!
I absolutely loved your piece in the Modern Love column! The writing is so tight and sharp and it resonates emotionally. Thank you for writing, Emily.
Thanks Vix, appreciate you reading it! I owe a lot to the Modern Love editor, Daniel Jones, who worked hard to cut it down to the right word count. I was too close to the story to figure out what was essential and what wasn't, at the end. I was worried it wouldn't work that short, might feel choppy, but we got there in the end!
Really appreciated this post on so many levels. I lost my mom seven years ago, too, and Mother's Day marketing feels like the emotional equivalent of blunt force trauma that I somehow always fail to adequately steel myself against. On a different note, you might appreciate hearing that there are currently 102 holds for your book at my local library, which serves a community of about 45,000! Your book is definitely drawing readers out in the world!
Thanks for this Jules! You'd think seven years would be enough to soften the marketing blows but somehow it isn't. Sorry you're going through it too. But thank you for the nice numbers at your local library - just still feels miraculous that people I don't know are reading the book, haha. And so many!